Wednesday, 11 October 2017

GAME REVIEW: Sonic Mania

Most likely you've read a bunch of reviews about this game that say the same thing, so lets cut to the chase:

Its meh.

and whats more, I don't think its the creators fault. Yet again uncle Sonic Team got their way forced it to be boring.

How? Simple, they made sure that 60% of the game would be stuff recycled from other past classic titles.

I don't give a fuck if the second stages of all the classic levels apparently "change it up". Spoiler alert, it doesn't! They just contain gimmicks that have been found in other classic levels, like Oil Ocean act 2 basically being a mash up of Oil Ocean (obviously), Marble Zone from the first game, and Sandopolis Zone from Sonic 3. **YAWN**

What made Sonic 3 the best of the classic games was simply because it was fresh and didn't contain gimmicks from the previous titles.

Now don't get me wrong, I think the team behind the Mania game are the best folks for the job of a classic game sequel. I knew this all along, but Sonic Team are fucking twats and made sure the game would suck. Just look at the new levels for this game, no gimmicks from other games, just 100% fresh. That's Sonic Teams fault. The whole game could have been this fresh. Hell it was suppose to be! It was suppose to be fresh as a daisy with nothing recycled. Pure and simple. Stupid Japanese twats that don't trust western developers enough and have no fucking clue about their own franchise and quite frankly, haven't for a few decades already.

One thing I just cannot stand though was just how frustrating the blue sphere bonus stages are. This IS designed by the western developers and they have forgotten that Sonics a kids game. These levels are literally designed for the older players that have played the blue sphere levels often enough for years. So those new players would never ace them even after a LOT of tries and hair pulling, and whats the reward at the end? Nothing. that's what. A token that does nothing unless you have more. I WENT THROUGH LESS HELL IN SONIC 3 FOR A CHAOS EMERALD you bastards.

So yeah, Sonic Team forced this game to look and feel like a fan game. Frustrating.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

ANIME REVIEW: Tenchi Muyo! Ryo Ohki OVA 4

As per usual, this series is OTT with too many new characters. Only this time you NEED to have watched GXP and read the GXP novels AND all the other crap like the Seikishi series to understand whats really going on, of which I cannot read it all due to NOT BEING JAPANESE!

Why alienate the viewers like this? Whats the point??!

Episode 1: The music in the background is kept to the background, and sparingly so too unfortunately, as I feel it suits the music style of OVA 1 and 2 more so. The character designs have changed yet again, this time the designs make everyone look fatter and fuller. Yucky.
Ditching an opening credits in favor of storytelling to the tune of a song works better for Tenchi. The show is suffering from lack of screen time as it is, so this is a good thing, however the love for the show is obviously not there at all. The quality of this OVA is worse than a typical television episode of things these days. The story is confusingly set in the past too, which doesn't help matters.

Episode 2: Just what the actual fuck is going on here?! This makes the overall original Tenchi series go down the crapper. Too many new characters, not much plot. Introduction to smartphones in the early 90's when this episode is set was a major head scratcher.

Episode 3: Meh. But it at least got to the end of the bloody pointless retelling of the wedding and focused on Reas background as she is accidentally brought into the universe from the Geminar one, to defeat a rouge sport robot. However thousands of years happen at a quicker rate than in the Tenchi world, and she for some bizarre reason, HAS to bring that world back HER child. Though that wasn't explained very clearly as to why. Still, its better than NO explanation, right?
Though it does state that she is created in a lab so her child would have the genes necessary to defeat the evil robot of that world.
Obviously her son would end up being Kenshin who would start the whole Seikishi spin off series.


Episode 4: Truly god awful. It was set years later (the year 2000 maybe??) and only consisted of plans of what to do with Kenshin, with a bunch of fucking pointless fanservice.

The end.

I'm sorry but I'm now putting this failed Tenchi Ryo-Ohki series under the classification of "dead to me".

What a fucking stupid pointless series. It didn't even make it to 26 episodes! BAH!

There is no hope for the series other than a reboot, and I renounce everything I ever said About Kajishima being the creator of the series. He's just a character artist, nothing more. That's why there are so many damn pointless characters in this fucking mess.

1-10

Once Kajishima is dead of old age, maybe AIC will actually consider a reboot. Tenchi Muyo has some things going for it with the goddesses and Tenchi being some sort of god. But its just not told in any sort of coherent way. I used to love this show. I seriously believe now that the original writers like Hasegawa left because of this stupid Kajishima dude. He is obviously no writer. I'm sorry, there is no way this guy can write, so why is he considered as the head of this franchise? Did he even create Tenchi Muyo in the first place?!? I seriously believe not. There is just no way.

Tenchi Universe is frustrating too because things are wrong with that show but in different ways. But no way is it as bad as the fragmented mess of the original.

My idea would be to have a 26 episode television show that tells a story about a farmboy that was actually god, but he didn't know it until goddesses messed with his life that forced him into a space opera adventure, that saw him finish off as a king of another planet with many different wives, but all the meanwhile he just wants to escape back to his farm boy lifestyle. Give it some zest, some life, some fun! some comedy! Some originality! Less talk, fewer characters, less garbage. Easy going great fun. That's all this series needed to be.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

ANIME REVIEW: Cardcaptor Sakura- Clear card arc prologue episode

Weird. Not what I was expecting, and thankfully keeps the original anime and leaves it alone.

This weird episode adapts the last few chapters of the original manga, I think. I never read the manga. Not when the anime was soo damn perfect, so I cant say for sure.

Thankfully I can clearly say without a doubt that its setting up a tangent universe for the Clear Card arc anime series that is coming out next year. a totally different universe from the original anime, one that splits from the Sakura Card arc at exactly 22:36 seconds into episode 69, or rather the moment Sakura defeated Eriol and Keroberos is shocked to see Eriol and co disappear so suddenly. In the original anime, Syaoran admits his love for Sakura straight afterwards. Not long later he flies back for Hong Kong, but not before Sakura turns up at the airport and demands him to give her his bear that was meant for her anyway. In this anime divergent, Syaoran gives Sakura his bear off screen, and hangs around for a few months in Japan before admitting his love to her. Then Sakura makes him a bear and manages to give it to him just before his bus departs for the airport. She also admits her feelings to him during this moment.

Weirdly, there is no sign of Syaorans butler on the bus too, strangely.

Regardless, this diversion is separate from the original path of the anime and therefore the original is safe from being trashed. Thank god.

Unlike the original animation, this episodes animation is bland and static with not as much love put into it as the original. too many panning shots of static characters with only lip flaps moving. One weird animation moment had the teacher walk into the room portraying the children as being only white blobs with faces. WTF?! cheap and unkempt.

I'm just glad this doesn't touch the original anime. That's one of my all time favourite anime series.

MUSIC REVIEW: Mark and Lard Vintage (50 years of Radio 1)

Today I listened to the one hour special of Mark and Lard that was broadcast yesterday on BBC Radio 1 Vintage, a 3 day special online radio station to celebrate Radio 1's 50 year anniversary. Seriously they have all sort of awesome throwback shows. catch them whilst they are still online to listen too!
I personally loved Mark and Lard. I was there listening to them during the breakfast and afternoon slots, but also occasionally there for the evening slots too before all that. They honed their talents though for their afternoon years. Im so please I managed to get hold of this special episode. I was even walking home after work today, listening to it on my phone, exactly like I was during the years of walking home from school, listening to them on the radio on my Walkman. The best bit though was listening to some parts I never managed to record and save for my personal collection of shows. What a nostalgia trip moment that was!!

Friday, 25 August 2017

MUSIC REVIEW: Gorrilaz- Humanz

I've just listened to the new Gorrilaz album on Spotify. My god, its terrible! 0_0 How did Damon decide that this mess was finished?!? 0_o Every song sounds terrible apart from 'We Got The Power'. That song was at least catchy, however it ends abruptly and falls too short. It could have done with having a second part to it, somehow. The rest of the tracks in the album are generic and highly forgettable. A bit like the songs in the first album (excluding the singles, those were good).
Overall, every singer in this new album sounds like they are singing to a melody that just isn't there. Damon's singing parts are equally as bad. He sings exactly the same way in every song, which mirrors his guests in this album, in that he's singing/rapping to a melody that doesn't match the actual music being played. Maybe the singers literally didn't have a melody to sing too when recording their parts??
There are 26 songs to this album, yet it seems like their shortest to date. Maybe this is for the best, as you can then go and listen to some decent, older, Gorrilaz tracks after you're done. This is easily the worst Gorrilaz album, including The Fall which was written during their American Tour 2010, and recorded within a week I believe.